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I Call Shotgun

We’ve all heard it.  We’ve all done it.  If there is more than one passenger entering a car to travel to a destination, only one of those passengers can sit in the front seat.  I get it.  What I don’t get is when the journey is a round trip destination and one of the passengers has the shameless gall to call shotgun both ways!

Let’s use the typical scenario of a round trip with a driver and two passengers. (Obviously, the more passengers there are, the more disgraceful it becomes for one passenger to call shotgun more than once.)  If there are two chances to sit in the front seat and there are two passengers doesn’t it stand to reason that each of those passengers should get their turn?  Is that really high-end arithmetic?  If there were two pork chops left on the serving plate and two guests just sat down to dinner, how might those two pork chops be allocated between those who are seated?  Wouldn’t you be insulted if someone actually asked you that?  Wouldn’t the average seven year old be insulted by that?  And yet we have full grown adults who call shotgun both ways all the time and do so with giddy, childlike excitement knowing they’re going to get their way.

Get their way.  I guess that’s what it’s all about.  I guess they’re the type of person who would prefer to be more comfortable rather than less comfortable.  That’s the distinction.  I see now.  They’re probably the same people who actually don’t like waiting in line or being stuck in traffic.  I guess the rest of us should be more sensitive to their needs…..UGH!!!  Of course the front seat is more comfortable.  That’s the entire reason the distinction has ever been made since the dawn of vehicular travel!

I understand this is kind of a childish social dynamic.  But that childish nature is precisely the point.  It is during childhood when every individual should fully understand everything there is to understand about this.  Share and share alike.  Doesn’t that ring any bells with these people?  Didn’t they ever have parents?

We must stand up to these ogres of civilization.  We must challenge their shameless, selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate, disrespectful, discourteous ways.  Be warned though.  In challenging them, you are almost certain to be immediately labeled ‘the bad guy’.  “Geez.  I didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”  Well then great!  If it’s not a big deal then they won’t mind if you get shotgun both ways.  There.  Now you get it your way. Shame on all of them.


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3 comments on “I Call Shotgun

  • This is hysterical. If someone offers me the front seat, I will take it because I get carsick, but if not, I head to the back with the other poor schlubs! We all know people like those you speak of and don’t we just “love” them?

  • AND some people get “priority shotgun” in specific people’s cars. Usually depending on how close they are as friends, one person can trump all shotgunning. Not fair!

  • YO! WHY’S THIS N**** SO MAD ALL THE TIME SON!?!?!?! I CALLED SHOT GUN, AND THAT’S HOW IT IS… DEAL WIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOLO— OUT!!!!!!!!!! :wink:

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